What causes kindergarteners to tell lies?
When your kindergartener tells you a tall tale or denies doing something you know he did, he probably isn’t trying to trick you. He probably isn’t smart when he starts a fight in the schoolyard by trying to take another child’s toy and then denies this when you ask him about it later.
Kindergartners have short-term memories, so when your child does this, he’s not trying to be smart. He might not even know that he took the toy. I wish that were true. When kindergartners say they didn’t break your china vase, they aren’t trying to get away with something.
He does not want it to happen. So much so that he believes he played no part in it at all. A way of thinking that is busy. Children have many plans for what they want to do at this age. Your children’s imagination is at its best, and they may believe what he conjures up in their thoughts is genuine.
A big rocket takes everyone to the moon. A wish to avoid being judged. Your child knows that doing something bad will make you mad, so he may be reluctant to tell the truth, and make you mad.
A desire to feel good. Your child will feel important when they write a story. When he says he swam through an Olympic-sized pool by himself, he’s not trying to trick you. Instead, he would like to know if you think he did something impressive but unlikely.
A burning urge for attention. Your child can easily get your attention by making up a story; he may not even care if it’s bad. He may keep doing it if lying gets him the attention he wants. A sense of control. He wants to figure out what’s going on in a situation that is far too much for him to manage.
A desire to try new things. The first thing he did that day. You can’t even get your 5-year-old to look at you. Even though it’s annoying, it’s normal for 5-year-olds to try to change the truth to see how far they can go and how much power they have over their parents.
How to handle lying
Maintain your composure.
If you are unwilling to encourage people to lie, it might seem like the best way to handle this would be to take each story as it comes. Remember that your child’s lies show that he is learning right and wrong and how to tell the difference between the truth and lies. If you don’t believe you did anything wrong, there’s no reason to try to hide something.
Investigate why he lied.
If, for example, your child tells you a lot of lies, it’s likely because he wants to feel important and liked. In that scenario, you can try to discourage him from telling more falsehoods by congratulating him for his efforts and accomplishments.
Make no accusations.
How you state things should make people want to tell the truth, not lie: There are crayon marks all over the carpet in the living room. How they reached it is an enigma to me. I need help picking them up.
Assess your predicament.
If he sneaks a candy bar and afterward says he didn’t eat it. He wants to get around the point that he can’t have everything he wants. You might remark, You likely desire that candy bar. It didn’t go as planned. When you attempted it, you recognized you were in trouble and lied.
He’ll learn that he has to make requests before he gets them and that telling the truth is less painful than lying. On the other hand, make him feel bad about what he did. He’ll be less susceptible to the lessons you wish to convey and more inclined to cover his tracks the following time.
Invoke justifiable repercussions.
When your child lies to find out what he can get away with, you should punish him fairly but not harshly. For example, you could tell him he can’t watch TV the day after he lies to observe one more show. So, one day, he’ll figure out that trying to fool you isn’t worth it.
Justify the need for honesty.
Kindergartners might say they know lying is wrong, but they might not understand its moral implications. “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” is a narrative that can help speed things up. He learns that lying can lead to very bad things.
Make a positive statement, not a bad one.
If you would like your kindergartener to tell you when he has done something wrong, don’t yell at him or tell him you hate him when he does. Also, many punishments likely won’t work for lying: When kids are punished for small mistakes, they often go too far, becoming too strict or rebellious, which is not what you want.
Because he is honest, you should praise him. The more positive feedback he receives, the more likely he will believe it is worthwhile to be on the ups and downs. It doesn’t make you think about how bad things can get for your kindergartener.
No matter what, you still love him. He might try to hide that he broke your bedroom lamp because he doesn’t want you to love him as much. Even though he did something you didn’t want him to do, Mommy and Daddy still love him.
Let your child understand that you must have faith in him and that he can do the same. Don’t tell him it won’t hurt if he has to get a shot at his next checkup. When you can’t keep a promise, you should apologize and try to make things right with your friends.
Tell him what you expect from him.
Various scenarios are fantastic methods to demonstrate acceptable behavior to your kindergartener. Telling him that he needs to ask permission before taking a cookie from another person’s plate is a good way to set rules.
Setting clear rules is among the most loving and helpful things you can offer your child. Soon, he can employ them to decide whether a behavior is acceptable. This implies that an infant who knows that rules are there to keep him safe grows up to be an adult who doesn’t break the rules.